What's up WhatsApp?

By Kalamwali in Experiences
Updated 13:47 IST Aug 22, 2017

Intentionally or not, in today’s times we end up spending enormous amount of time on this app called WhatsApp. It’s as though the world, life, work, chores, socializing and communication didn’t exist before WhatsApp came into being. I, personally am a hypocritical user of WhatsApp. I use it liberally yet criticize it generously. It’s not really the app I despise. I think it’s the people who use the app like it may cease to exist in a few hours that makes me want to delete it every single day.

But having said that, each time I receive messages, I realize people have a behavioral pattern even on WhatsApp. Everyone’s style of using the App to communicate is unique. When I have some time to spare, I go through some chats and group chats just to see how peculiar these users are. Here are a few.

The Lovers: Typically, the ones who shower endless love through messages. Their messages begin with, "love, sweetie, darling" and end with at least half a dozen kisses and heart emoticons. It’s as though they are always high on love and spreading some too. I find it a little intimidating as I sparingly use my kisses and hearts, like WhatsApp is going to charge me for extra usage of those. So, I tend to respond with a heart to them. For all those who shower me with such love and receive a heart or two in return, this signifies that I have just one heart and I am actually sending you some realistic love from it (if that makes any sense at all).

The Puzzlers: It’s the most stressful for me to read messages from such lot. Cuz de strt lk ths n Gd knws wht dey mean. The Zzz instead of ‘es’ and ‘d’ instead of ‘th’ disturbs me, terribly. I have to convince the nicest part of my heart to reply to such messages and I do so with optimum level of linguistic skills. I purposely use full forms of week days, months and every possible legible and acceptable abbreviations just so that I feel I’ve had my revenge for having to decode messages like, “plzzz snd na dat pic to me cz I dnt hv t n cl me 1ce u gt dn”.

The Good Samaritans: More specifically the senior lot who share and share and share wisdom, tips, facts, photos, implausible happenings and religious informs. More often with each other and sometimes with us (kids, nieces, nephews, grandkids, kids-in-law). They enjoy sending “good morning” messages with some pretty photos and enjoy even more when you reply back with a ‘good morning’. The only scary part is that, when you do reply, they feel they should share some more wisdom with you. And then they actually do. The funny part about these people however is that if you type and send them messages, particularly important or urgent ones, asking them something, informing them about something, you might never get a reply. You might receive a phone call instead. Suitable communication according to them, should happen verbally. WhatsApp is only to share and forward interesting stuff.

The ‘chop chop’ Chops:  These are second most scary conversations. They are cold, curt, short and leave no chance for further plausible conversation. They typically reply to a long/ heartfelt/convincing message with an ‘ok, thanks, yes, no, sure, go ahead, not possible’ etc., without any emoticon to be precise. Their tone of texting is like they are miffed with you for something. They get you thinking right away, of everything you could have done wrong to receive such wrath. However, when you do meet them in person, they are warmer than the “Lovers” category. It’s just the way they text, which is with an anticipated straight face.

Apart from these four, there are several other classes of WhatsApp users. Some change their Display pictures at least thrice a day like regular dosages of medication. Some express their life story via their statuses. A few who use it for work, infest your inboxes with broadcasts and then there are also those who remain available only when they want.

I don’t know what category I belong to, but I am sure I am one of them too. What type do you belong to? Leave me a message on WhatsApp if you wish 😉

 

-Kalamwali

 

 

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Manali Jobanputra 23-Aug-2017 17:19

Haha. M da puzzlers sumtyms :p