Gear up women-its time to save your tribe

By Diyaa in Stories » True Story
Updated 08:21 IST Oct 25, 2016

 "Pl don’t touch my child!" Cried Neha. It was very late at night when Neha’s mother in law had shut the house doors on her and locked them from in. Only till a few minutes before the scene was different, the quiet looking daughter in law had gotten tired of her in-laws taunts and moved down for some fresh air. She had left her 6 yr. old daughter sleeping in the room. After regaining her sanity she returned home to face a whole new bunch of bad glares from her in-laws. But to her shock the door had been shut for the night. She pleaded them and cried for sometime, when the door was finally unlocked. Her only thoughts were those for the safety of her daughter who was not liked by her grand parents. The 6 yr. old Aisha had not done anything to deserve such negative vibes from her own grandparents at such raw age. Neha feared her daughter being harmed by them or them not accepting her for the night. Where would have she gone with no money and no where to go?
It was now close to six months now that Neha was living with her in-laws in the hope of the return of her husband from a foreign country. He got promoted to a permanent job in a multinational company. This made his return to his native place even more difficult at the last minute. He stayed back with the promise of returning as soon as possible. He sent his wife and daughter back to help his parents who were now getting older. But this didn’t seem to materialise even after good six months. Neha had started to lose hope. She was tired of the bad behaviour her in-laws portrayed. They never had a soft corner for her or her daughter. The rare phone calls to them in the 8 yr. of their marriage reduced even further after Aisha’s birth which only gave clear indications that she was not accepted by them.

Neha stayed with her two sister in laws. Already having daughters around made her mother in laws heart softer towards them. She had different rules for them and Neha. The worse came when the sisters also started treating Neha bad. Back biting, bad naming, gossiping about her to the world became their latest hobby. They worked in prestigious companies and held good position at their respective jobs. But this only showed how insecure their lives were around Neha. Even though they had nothing to lose after getting payed a decent salary and living their lives in the best possible ways with help of most supportive parents. One of them was married and had a son, she stayed at five minutes distance from them while the other stayed with her parents and was in a relationship with her colleague. Neha’s mother in law would always praise her daughters son who was as old as Aisha, whom she would degrade publicly. This was Neha's life after 8 faithful years of trying to maintain her married life. Every time she tried harder she felt she missed something as it would never satisfy her in-laws. This is her story true and as sad as it can be.

My heart was wrenching when I heard her speak for the first time about her life. She had been naive she thought. I would rather call her dumb. It was mostly her fault that she allowed them to walk over so easily. In maintaining peace around everyone she forgot to live her own life. She put all their needs before hers. How many Neha’s are still suffering- the harsh behaviours of their in-laws only in the fear of not disgracing their parents or thinking about their children’s future? There seemed no future for Aisha here but her mother kept fearing bringing her up alone. She was well educated but never allowed to work. That made her self confidence very low. I explained to her that, “what seemed like a difficult end is actually a beautiful beginning”.

My biggest question is why would a women who herself has gone through a lot of suffering bring more pain to the other? When will we learn to run the mental relay and put the light in the other persons mind and brighten her life and ignite her soul forever? I feel Only a woman can save her family. It needs playing the trick of the trade. Men don’t generally like to get involved in family mess. They never seem to tune into such low energies. Why we as women who have the power to bring out a new life within us want to ever destroy what has come out of another women. Does that make her struggles any less? Till we don’t tell our sons about every small mistakes their wives make or complain to our husbands of the expectations that the daughter in laws didn’t live up to, they would never know of them. Were we perfect or are we still? Aren’t each of us struggling with our weaknesses that we point out others so easily. Why is there a sister in law or a mother in law or a daughter in law trying to make hell of the others life? When we live with our own mothers, sister and daughters we laugh over each others mistakes and forgive and forget every single day. Then why is accepting someone who has promised to give their share of life to us forever so difficult? Real strong women don’t compete each with each other, they lift each other up, instead of being so hateful or envious.

That said there are empowering women too. We only need to open our eyes and focus on them. Their houses are much more peaceful and blessed. They don’t have arguments but discussions over national issue or interest of public and not over each others weakness. I salute women who know how to care and have respect for her species. It takes courage to accept that there are other women who are much better than us in certain spheres of life.

Woman go ahead and make life fun.  Share your best secret recipes with your friends for it will not make you any less talented, share your health programmes for it is a beautiful thought to see a healthier world around us, share your designers contacts for how you dress will still look different than someone else, share your maids with people who are desperate in need of help, give your child’s class details to their friends for its only fun learning together. Lets make life worth living. We definelty don’t want to see from our souls eyes on the day of our funeral that even one person is happy by our not being around them. Share lesser likes and love more. Bless, forgive, express and accept all. Lets Be there for us. 

 As for Neha, she gained courage to live life on her own terms. She now lives happily with her daughter and supports her financially independently. 

 

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Kalamwali 28-Oct-2016 20:31

Wow!! Heart wrenching!