"Admiring the best view from the heavens?" Asked an angel.
"Yup!" I said. "I kind of love this view, it would have been better to live here instead of struggling there. Lucky you Maya."
"So what makes you come back before your time? Everyone is muttering something or the other about you", she said.
"Do you believe in them?" I asked her.
Straight away she said no and proved that she was still the Maya I knew just grown up now.
"So have you met maa?” She interrogated, still trying to figure out the mystery behind my before time arrival.
"No, not yet." I answered while I was busy enjoying her struggle.
I decided to tell her by myself and end the suspense.
"Something went wrong down there on Earth with me, that's why..."
"What?!" Her eyes widened to the maximum limit.
"Nothing dangerous, nor that big but yes... something which had a strong impact on my human form."
"Tell me in detail." She ordered.
I could sense that she was showing her authority on me now.
I started...
Everything was fine... Living the life of a human, in their surroundings, along with them. Childhood was good, though her absence was really painful. Don't know why maa left me there so early and all alone. Yet to figure it out. Things were going really easily until I fell into the trap.
It was my 11th standard, junior college had started and everyone suggested me that I need to join coaching classes for 12th board and entrance exams. So as per suggestions I got into a very famous tutorial classes. Tuition classes... Where everything started.
It was my first day 07/10/2010. There was nothing so special about anyone in my class unless she came. She was something that cannot be explained in words. The feeling which I had when I saw her for the first time is still fresh in my heart but I cannot explain it to anyone that how I felt. She was tall, fair, serene, dream like. She was wearing the most alluring and healing smile. As she entered the room her presence had an instant reaction on me. Unknowingly it gave my soul a reason to stay here.
I wanted to talk to her but you know that humans have developed a deadly feeling inside them and named it as fear. This thing stops all of them from doing anything... Simply anything that's strong. Time flew away quickly and my progress towards her remain null.
I had few memories of my small little conversations with her, Which I made in those two years. They were sufficient to keep her image and the feeling fresh in my heart for decades to come and they were more than sufficient to remind me that I was a coward. The one who didn't make it... make it in her consciousness. The who simply fell into the darkness of irrelevance.
I cleared my 12th standard and my entrance and got admitted into a good engineering college. Her memories started to fade away.
Year 2013, 2nd semester of engineering. I received a phone call from my best buddy who told me that he has seen her, last night near our tuitions. This reminded me of her and the old times, when he used to inform me every time whenever he saw her. Feelings and hope returned home.
Within couple of hours I was standing at gates of a Colony which consisted 1500 houses and I had no idea which one was her's. Neither I had anything in my head that how I'm going to find her, what will I say if I succeed. The only thing I was sure about was that she ain't going to recognise me. In all confusion I made phone calls to two of my friends and both laughted and suggested me to go back home. But one had something more for me. My friend offered me her phone number so that I can contact her.
The phone number was more than anything. It was the biggest achievement till date for me towards her. That thing gave me hope once again. Now came the question how to be friends with her.
Made a call to her with a plan of reunion of the tuition class. Heard her voice for the first time in 20 months. Words ran away from my mouth. For a moment I felt like was a mute person. The call was short but it gave me life, I was on cloud nine. Happiness was flowing in the air for me. She agreed for the reunion but she said she didn't knew me.
Plans were in process that how to make the second call and tell her that reunion has been called off. It was all pre-planned, the reunion invitation then cancelling it. Just in a hope that in all this I could make friendship with her. Dreams shattered when she didn't pick up my call. Game over, I thought.
All this feelings and emotions were draining me. They were making me something which I was not, they were making me more like a human and that too helpless human. Fearing about the consequences i made a deal with the almighty, "I will leave all this love and all just give me back my peace of mind. Please." But almighty had something else for me.
From nowhere her friend from her junior college became my friend. From 'Nowhere' I mean Facebook. She gave me few important informations about 'Her' while we had conversations on social media. She also told me something which gave tremors to my heart. She said the one I'm looking for so desperately has a boyfriend. She loves someone else. All my efforts and feelings are waste.
May 2014. During the summer I was working on my path of moving on and I had a good progress but the game was not yet over. I had her number which was never touch since last summer when the reunion game happened. She joined WhatsApp and I saw her image. 2 years, 4 months and 29 days... Long time had passed since I saw her for the last time. Progress went into drain the love was back again.
I waited for 2 months and then I messaged her. Proving me wrong she remembered me. The reunion guy. Things moved ahead along with time. We became friends, we had long late night conversations... many times. We talked about our lives, literature and other things.We had cute little moments in our chats but still she was someone elses and I was just her friend. We were separated by distance she was in some other city doing engineering, I was here. We were just connected by phone.
Things started to change, now I knew why I loved her. She was the reason for me to do well for this world. Make this world a better place just for her. Everything I was destined for came to a same point and made her the center. She became my only reason to be good. But she didn't knew about all of these, about my feelings.
After 10 months of chatting and all, we both became two persons who knew deeply each other, understands each other, is there for each other. There was nothing more left for me to be sure that this is the one with whom I want to live my whole adventures life with. She would be the reason for all the good deeds I'm going to do in future. I had a fairytale like dream with her, around her, for her.
With all these things in mind I expressed my magnanimous love towards her during one of our conversations.
"I really love... And all these feelings have lived inside me for a very long period... They have grown and enhanced just because of you and for your... I know that you have a boyfriend... And also that he loves you and you love him... But I can't control my feelings... My heart... They all just want you to know that they do everything just for your sake... I love you and you only... No one else on this planet can take the place you possess in my mind and heart... You will always be loved by my heart..."
In response to this she said, "I really don't know what to say... Firstly I'm shocked to hear all this from you... I have always looked towards you as a friend... And I really really admire you... I have told you on many instances earlier that you are the best person I have ever met in my life... And you will always be... I totally respect your feelings but... But I can't love you... I just can't..."
And all these things moved forward... I was friend zoned. Later on my feelings for her went on a greater level of madness and she suggested this...
"We should create a large distance between each other... As for the betterment of you and your feelings... I can't give you the love that you demand... Neither can I do justice with your feelings... Forgive me... And forget me..."
It took me 5 months to totally understand her situation. She broke up with her boyfriend and got into a new relationship, with a new guy... I was nowhere in the scenario. She didn't even care to share her happiness with me. Slowly slowly I tried to move on and now I'm here.
"So here is my boy!", Said maa from behind. She was standing at a distance.
I felt like I was being blessed with happiness by all the supreme powers in the universe. They all gathered around and showering love on me. I saw maa after 21 long years.
"I missed you so much maa... Why did you..?"
She just smiled and I heard what the wind were saying. I understood.
Maya interrupted, "But why did you came back? Is a girl more important to you than the work you have been destined for? You are a wallflower, heaven trusts you. What made you leave all that and return?"
Maa gave Maya a look which said that she knew everything which had happen and the reason stored in my head.
But I responded to Maya.
"I know that many dreams rely upon my shoulders... I have a destiny bigger than any other but still I'm a living being with a heart... A heart which makes fragile connections with every lovable thing around it... She was just something my sobbing heart needed... She was the only reason I smiled even in tough times... She was my life support... But this cruel world... The people... They were the reason behind leaving her... they never supported me and my love with their whole heart... When she said 'No' to my feelings they all wanted me to focus on someone else... Like my feelings were just a simple thing... Today for her, tomorrow for someone else... I was just unable to take this any more so I pushed her away from my life... Broke every thread of friendship we had and isolated myself... It was really hard for me to stop myself from loving her but I had to... for her sake, for mine, for the world... This is what the world wanted from me... This is what was needed... That's why I left my job on Earth incomplete... If I can't get what I love then this sick world has no right to enjoy on my good deeds... I just can't give this world anymore happiness as this world never let me be happy... They took away maa… Filled my childhood with sadness... Then they took away her also and I was again all alone... If someone asks that what went wrong, I would say, "She wasn't the wrong person neither was I, It was just the time..."