P-a-Mess (PMS)
Commonly known as the Premenstrual Syndrome, it is termed as the root cause of mood swings in women who are termed as the root cause of fights, whenever they happen. Can’t pass my verdict on this one but being a woman and a prominent victim of the PMS myself, I can vouch for the ‘Chemical Locha’ it could create every once in a while.
There is abundant information about this, scientific and otherwise on Google but after all I am not sure Google is a woman experiencing PMS. So first-hand experience on dealing with it is worth the share.
Technically it should occur every month but given our hectic schedules even the PMS takes an off some times. Incidentally though, a severe case of PMS always clashes with stressful, demanding, argumentative, outraging or disturbing times. And given the emotional tenderness (which PMS generously brings with it), we tend to feel more and express even more, without realizing.
So what do you do? Well, the most important thing is to comprehend that there is a ‘Chemical Locha’. How?
- If you are driving and the traffic (which is the same each day, or worse on other days) makes you want to scream, give bad words, get down and give a revolutionary talk, write to the Prime Minister’s Office describing the dire state of the country, calm down and ask yourself, lady, PMS?
- You are watching something on TV and you suddenly start sobbing like it happened to you/ may happen to you or may never happen to you, quickly find something you love to eat and take a bite of it, change the channel and ask yourself, lady, PMS?
- Someone says something to you that isn’t something you want to hear (which would normally not even enter your ears to reach your brain but during such times, envelopes your brain entirely). Typically elders like parents, in-laws, boss, relatives or even insignificant acquaintances just have to utter those words and you suddenly drift into a string of thoughts that lead to an unacceptably dramatic anticipation, almost to the extent of what happens in Indian ‘Saas Bahu’ TV soaps. Stop!! Distract yourself and ask yourself, lady, PMS?
- You suddenly start feeling clingy towards your partner (who is obviously from another planet and will certainly reassure this fact during such times). The more you want to be loved, chances are you won’t. Because it’s during this ‘Chemical Locha’ especially, that he may choose to be exceptionally dumb/ distant or indifferent. And mind you, they are the same species that make you fall and believe in love otherwise. Just not during PMS, when you think you need/want them the most.
So what do you do? Cry? Fight? Accuse? Abuse? Nah!! Just sit back, take a sip of your favorite drink, and ask yourself, lady, PMS? If it’s a yes, finish that drink, have a couple of more of those and wait for him to know what he’s done, or not done!!
- You are feeling particularly tied up, tied down with umpteen number of “things to do” which just do not seem to end. Plus, your child/children become cranky/clingy/demanding or are laden with “things to do” themselves, which eventually add to your list and all you want to do is cry, scream, bury yourself in the blanket and hibernate or even whack (oops! Yes, each mother does go through such moments when she feels like whacking her precious), STOP!! Don’t raise your voice or hand. Take a deep breath and ask yourself, lady, PMS?
If the answer to the questions in the above situations is a ‘Yes’, heave a sigh of relief. As all your emotional discomfort is a phase and will pass as soon PMS turns to MS.
Here are a few other things you can try to tackle the tricky trashy traits if not fight them. Make a special Playlist of songs that will distract you from feeling moody. Take a hike (in the literal sense), or even a walk outdoors. It helps, trust me. Eat wholesome portions of things you love. Read something light or funny. Draw something and color it with inferior quality color pencils or crayons which will make you apply so much energy that all your aggression will drain. If you enjoy cleaning, find something to clean/arrange/scrub/polish. Its particularly therapeutic. Go for a drive. Sit on a bench in the park and try to build stories about strangers you see around.
And should none of this work, just shut the door, think of all the worst things that have happened to you and cry it out. Flush out that system and rejuvenate yourself. Tell yourself you have earned that outburst and you deserve that little bit of drama. It’s ‘P-a-Mess’ after all and you have to clean any kind of mess that bothers you.
-Kalamwali