A growing child and a growing parent

By Madhura in Experiences
Updated 21:53 IST Aug 07, 2019

I am a mother since the past 8 years. I have a son who is growing at the speed of lightning. It feels like he dashed through the phases of Baby TV, Jake and the Never land pirates to Pokemon and Bey Blade and has landed on the Minecraft phase in just 267 days. He is 8. But I ask myself. How old is the mother in me? 

Two weeks back we had planned to watch the latest Spiderman movie and my son asked me “Did you check with me before booking the tickets?”. I was quite taken aback. Although I applauded the clarity in his thoughts and also gave myself a pat on my own back for raising a child which does not fear expressing his displeasure regarding a plan. (I could not imagine an 8-year-old ‘me’ asking my mother the same question without having to pay for it without a red cheek). I also highly appreciated the effortless objectivity in his tone. No attitude. No arrogance. A plain expression of his feelings. He went to bed that night and I sat thinking about my own growth as a parent. A child goes through many phases while growing up. Infancy, toddlerhood, childhood, puberty, teenage and adolescence.  Every time a child transitions from one phase to the next, a parent has to change the parenting strategies (yes, strategizing is a vital part of parenthood). Sometimes this happens naturally and without any friction. Sometimes it takes a few unpleasant arguments to understand “Oh! My child is growing/ too grown up for this”. Every incident teaches you. Every incident draws a smile with a tear. For example, a mother goes through series of episodes of detachment. Starting from when we wean the baby from the breast to when we allow him to cross the road without holding our hand to eventually letting him be out by himself in the evenings with friends. When I look back and contemplate, I realise that I went through every phase with a lot of understanding; not just for my child; but also, for my own self. “He is growing up and that’s what you want” I kept/keep telling myself. The child grows and the parent has to grow too. I write this keeping mothers and fathers in my mind who have let out a small tear along with a smile every time they see their child grow and slowly take wings. I want to give all parents a hug and a pat on their backs for doing their best in raising a human being fit for the world. Grow with the child and experience the magic of parenting with a smile.

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Kalamwali 07-Aug-2019 22:43

I feel you! Straight from the heart of an involved yet ‘I have a life of my own’ kinda mother. Very well written!

Shiva 08-Aug-2019 00:28

Beautifully expressed. Had read this somewhere that age of a parent is the age of the child. So just like a child we parents also go through various stages. Key is to be just kind and forgiving ourselves as parents just like we can do it for the child.
A big hug to you too.... As a friend.. as a parent and as a wonderful human being

Madhura 11-Aug-2019 09:44

Thanks guys!!