Why I Would Choose My Husband Over My Kids?

By Diyaa in Experiences
Updated 11:01 IST Oct 15, 2019

Views » 903 | 5 min read

Let me start this blog first by mentioning that I love my kids immensely. I can’t recollect what my life was like before I had them.  My kids are significantly important to me. Being a stay-at-home mom, I spend most of my time with them then with anyone else. My life right now revolves around them. My hubby and I have busy schedules and we get to barely spend a couple of our waking hours together. I equally love my husband just as I love my babies.  Many of you may dislike me saying this or even judge me for choosing my husband over my kids at this point. But, after giving it all of my thought I feel if there’s ever a time wherein I have to make a choice, I would definitely choose my husband over them and here are my reasons why...


Being in an arranged marriage, whatever little choices I was given I chose to get married to my husband and so did he. We were the ones who decided to be by each other’s side for a lifetime and made vows for the same. It was only because of this unison that our kids came into this world. They do deserve all our love and care but we as a spouse formed a relation much before them. We promised to take care of each other till death does us apart. We chose each other as partners while our kids were wanted by us and given, gifted, sent by God’s will. They are very special and mean the world to me yet I choose my husband as a priority. I have this exceptional one I choose to love for the rest of my life and I can’t take him for granted.  This love existed even before the kids came into our lives. I love and admire him for he gives me many reasons to do so every day. I can’t imagine putting him second or behind anyone else.


We are the concrete pillars in our children’s lives. Thinking of my hubby before my kids doesn’t make me partial towards their love. In fact I feel it only increases the respect and value I have for him in front of my kids. The more we value our spouses the more it’s going to be in-grained in our kids. They in turn will do the same when they are married. They will not take us or our relation for granted. I believe happier families have stronger foundations while broken ones will always remain shaken. The kids need to see and believe that there’s a bond that will support them together come what may. It’s important to teach them the family values and importance of the members as a priority over anyone else.


These millennial kids have got it all very easy and effortlessly. Their demands have been fulfilled even before they have made one at times. We are the ones who gave them this royal treatment. We label this as our love for them but in reality we are somewhere spoiling them too. We make them feel on top of the world by doing so.  When I choose my husband over my boys I am just showing them that their father has a certain place in my life that can’t be taken up by them even. It is alright for them to know when they can be up on the priority list and when someone else deserves it too. This makes me a better mom and a better wife. This will also make them less self-centered and more compassionate. My husband needs to feel prioritized too. If I love them more will it make my hubby happier I ask myself? May be yes, as he loves them equally too but somewhere he may feel a little left out. This may space out gaps in the marriage which would affect the kids as well and I would never want that.


If we as a family don’t put each other first who else will. We look after each other’s needs. We promised to do so. Giving my marital relation a superior rank is not doing injustice to anyone else. It’s what best we can do in capacity of each other. There may be times we may put other people or even family members above us, but ultimately I want my husband to feel he’s very well loved and taken care of as far as I am concerned.


The kids will eventually grow and move out on their own. They will have their individual set of friends and spouses to love and care for.  When they have seen a strong bond between their parents in their childhood I believe, they would be likely to do the same. Also it’s going to be me and my husband in the end. If I don’t have a strong relationship today, it will be difficult to spark that love later on in life. A relationship based on our kids and their benefit will only last until they are around with us. This would leave us both lonely towards the end, when that’s the time when we need our spouses the most besides us. Why wait for this kind of troubled feeling later? It’s best to make it stronger at the roots.

So now when I say this, I don’t mean I love my kids any lesser. They are loved, cared for and nestled well. I know as mothers we have always wanted the best for our babies, and believe me so do I. But this only means that I consider my husband’s feelings while making decisions, small or big and not just my kids.  I hope when my kids grow up to read this they will understand what I mean and know that I love them immeasurably. Nothing will lessen my love for any one of them ever.

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