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My Story against my Fears

By Believer in Experiences
Updated 11:56 IST Dec 04, 2020

Views » 633 | 4 min read

In this context i will be trying to be as honest as possible. I will be sharing the experiences that i had about how i delt with negative thoughts which grouped together to fight against me.

Around the age of seven or eight my mother made me join a dance class. Being the youngest in that group i used to get a lot of praises, i was taken care of and every thing was fine. During some events when we were supposed to dance in front of the audience i did feel threatened but not in a large scale. I had a dance performance when i was like 10 or 11, i remember coming homeas usual after the show but then my father started teasing me about the way i danced and everyone started laughing. I felt so embaressed that i litrally I lost interest. I started feeling so concious eventually I left the class. I understand that he was just teasing and didnt really mean it but it affected me. At the age of 12 i had put on a bit of weight( i used to be skinny) and didn't really bother about it, i used to wear anything i wanted and be comfortable in it. It seemed like the others had a problem with that they started telling me about how weird some clothes looked on me.This time i was really angry at that note. Now even i started body shaming myself when i used to look at the mirror.Time passed and i started being called as "the shy one". Only the once close to me really new me... when people actually get to know me they say"i really did not think you were so fun".I still don't know how to react to it.

         Lets talk about the change. When i was in the 9th grade i had to give a presentation in a group. The group that i was assigned to did not give me the part that i had to do until the last day that to through whatsapp, i wouldnt want to blame myself for that because i used to ask the person who was supposedly the  leader which i truely belive she failed to to as a group... (im sorry my emotions couldnt stop) about the things i had tod\prepair .My worst fears came true the next day. I came to school i couldnt say a word during the excecution .I felt useless, hopeless and anything but strong. Now my partner started to tell me how i stood there and how I shut  my eyes and on the verge of crying. Just one girl in the class, she came to me to tell me that i did good. We both know that she was just trying to cheer me up.But it did't work.Next day the girl (who was leading the group) commented when i was talking to my patner  sayingt "now your voice is comming out.." that made me feel so disgusted that i really decided to prove her as well as some others wrong.

      For an English test towards the end of the year our teacher decided to mark us on our speaking skills. No other class was having that and most of the people who had their speeches ready were not even going there to speak and were prepaired to take a zero for that test. My roll number was 21 and maam had reached 15, then i requested maam if i could do next ,this was the end of our academic year before my 10th boards and we all very well knew that there were no marks alloted for this. As soon as roll number 15 was done i went and gave a speech on the importance of meditation. I wouldn't say that i did really great, it was fine but the most important part was i did it and i was sooooo pround of myself. This may be a very small achievement but even while Iam writing this after 2 years i feel so refreshed. Now I am trying my best, to be the fearless me i was.

      I simply wanted to write this so that i could tell someone who needs it that its okay to be afraid but remember the only person who can change you is YOU. Its not hard if you ever feel scared just tell yourself that you are the KING or QUEEN there and the people love to listen to you. I would like to end with saying that if there is aperson teasing you for what you are doing and they are not just tell them to stop or tell yourself that you did that because you had the courage to do it thats the exact reason why they did not. SMILE.... And yes make sure you encourage others as much as you can. Never ever demotivate anyone. I Wish great success  to you.

Thankyou  

  

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