A Flow Like The Sea
I was supposed to be up at 7, working out and then chilling at the beach. I am at the beach now, but it is 11 am. Come on, I couldn’t just leave those comfortable sheets just like that right? That would simply be a waste. I am here now, writing this, taking my time to think and let ideas come to me rather than me seeking them.
I am on the shore. The waves are crashing on my feet and the white foam is calling out to me, beckoning me to let go and let it take me. I am lost in the sound. I am lost in the rhythm of the sea. For the first time in very long I feel lost but found at the same time.
I let loose. Not let go as of yet, we don’t wanna drown now do we. My hands move. Or wait. My hands flow, and my legs feel like they’re floating. The chaos around reduces into a rhythmic silence and the wind around me slows down to a gentle breeze. My mind is playing a weird kind of beat, listening to a different tune, and I let it. For the first time, it feels okay to not be in control. To not know what's about to happen. The serenity in the atmosphere takes over me and I start flowing. I start dancing, letting the wind guide my hands and the waves guide my feet. I glide my toes smoothly over the rough sand, particles of broken rock clinging on them. There is no song, there is no music, except for the turbid ebb and the flow of the tide, the sound that this nature produces. My hands are flowing in ways I never thought they could. My legs aren’t stopping, it's like I'm on a cloud. My mind was elated and the adrenaline high somehow kept me calm. I lost myself in my movement and drifted along the direction of my mind. It was my sanctum of solace, the temple of my movement.
I don’t think I have ever let myself go like that. I don’t think i have ever felt so comfortable being lost, not in control of myself and so, so, happy. I don’t think i have felt like this in a long time, and I don't know how long it will be till i feel like this again, but i don’t mind that because i had my now. I had my own now and I lived in it, embraced it and I seized my moment shamelessly, without a care in the world.
For a moment in time there I had nothing in my mind. No self doubt, embarrassment, nothing at all. No worry about how I will do in life, or no questioning my every move, asking myself how exactly will I ever come to a consensus about deciding what to do for the rest of my life. No sadness, no happiness either. I just felt….. Something. Is that what peace feels like? The tranquility of nature, the way creation expresses itself and how you synonymously correspond, is that what peace is?
I stop and look around to admire everything around me. I cannot stress on how beautiful everything suddenly seems to me now. How complete I somehow feel. How admirable the world is to me. How beautiful my earth is.
I pick up my slippers in my left hand and the wind picks up its pace again. My dress flows with it and I let this beautiful sensation wash over me. I wash my legs and walk towards my room rather than taking the golf cart to it. I breathe in slow and deep, taking in my feelings altogether, and I walk.
I am happy. I am content.