. Be your own Valentine.
Lovers they say don’t have to search each other they just get found. But I was not so lucky to have landed in the arms of my prince charming at that time. During my twenties, my curiosity had got better of me, so I wanted to test how online dating is. Besides, most of my friends had boy friends who use to send them romantic texts, shower them with compliments and give them chocolates, gifts and flowers. All the things that every girl likes in any age. I had promised myself this is only to try my luck and test this dating process and nothing else. So, I put up my profile in a known online dating site. In those days, we did not have the luxury of just flipping people on the phone. As soon as you upload your profile the dating game begins. Kisses from forty years old to fifty years old lawyers and accountants. I was surprised to see profiles of people who were of that age.
A charming boy wrote to me with email that began I am good at ignoring fools. Imagine the email had begun with such a sentence. Why begin a message in this way especially to a woman whom you don’t know, you have never met and presumably want to know, with such a statement? There are some great writers also on these websites who describe marriage as an “empty void” which made me hit the delete button. Unfortunately, I was fascinated by a lover boy whom I agreed to meet. Over a coffee, I discovered he had uploaded his younger days picture, now he looked at least ten years older than that. He shared that he had given up on alcohol at the age of forty in the memory of his mother. It was difficult for me to give any reply to this piece of information he shared with me in the very first meeting.
My next date was worst. He came in wearing flashy new cloths with fancy glares on his eyes. Because of the glares he could barely see what is in front of him and dropped on table which had ice bucket. This made his new flashy clothes wet. He walked in a funny manner with the wet clothes. I could barely control my laughter when he said I made him nervous. He said You are prettier than your profile picture so this made him nervous. I decided to take this as a compliment and refrained from telling him that had he worn normal clothes he would have looked better which might have helped him for his nervousness that he blamed me for.
Next in line was a musician, much younger to me. I will not deny he was good-looking. Taller than me, silky black hair, brown eyes and lovely features. We had some fun conversations over the telephone and since he seemed better. I decided to meet. He had worn black shirt in first meeting so I gave him extra points for that. We had an instant energy between us. He asked me to go to his house to which I flatly refused. Then he kissed me saying he likes me. The very next day he rings me up asking can he come over to my house. I met him and told I want him to take things slow. To which he said, “take you out for dinner and stuff? “To which I replied,” Well not necessarily spend lots of money on me. There are lot of less expensive things that can be done”. Later, I discovered he was a in great hurry to marry, have kids and it was time for me to tell him the truth that I was not intending to marry soon. We had to part our ways. I wished him luck so did he.
These dating escapades made me think why I am on this dating site.My curiosity had quenched by then. I discovered that what I was looking for is not relationship but something that my friends were getting from their boyfriends. Love.Everybody loves love. It makes our world go round but it need not be a relationship. Love begins with you. I discovered I can buy gifts and flowers for myself instead of a searching a boy who gives me such things..I deleted my profile from the dating site. I made a list of ways that I can do for myself that give me sheer pleasure. I went for them!
These adventures date back to my collage days but have stayed with me eventually leading me to marry the prince charming, boy of my dreams. It reminds me, even if you are in relationship, one should never forget that your first relationship is with yourself. Wear that pretty dress you have kept away, put on the red lipstick that makes your lips beautiful along with a dash of smile. Keep loving. Be your own Valentine.
-Sanchita Satalkar.