December,
you used to be my favourite month -
your cold never cold enough to freeze
my heart, trampled on for
334 days
without a break in
48 weeks of wreckage
left behind by storms
that never made it out of my windows
somehow latching onto the air
I breathed in
28857600 times
choking my eyes
clogging my throat
cutting off my ears
silencing my tongue
and searing my skin.
December 2016,
i’ve never hated anything as much
for you remind me of what i've lost;
and although i still know the count
i've lost track of the unsent messages
like mini tornadoes
of words i never wanted to string together
of heartbeats i wish had stopped
of every second
i breathed knowing it’s
one more than i want.