wake up. put on glasses. look around.
touch neck. feel anything? yeah?
good. made it again safely. alive and well.
get out. contemplate while brushing teeth; still jumping.
sleep-wake up-lose bearings-lights!-wake up.
finally awake. pressure building.
STOP.SKIP.
no time.
stop. fast forward. bathroom.
no time. skip soap.
still time. stand still inside the shower.
create scenarios. feel the hot water streams running down the body.
I,am alive. and well.
STOP. SKIP.
street. noise. horns honking. silencer failing to do its job.
people walking. or ants? may be rats...
gaze. skip. must avoid.
fast forward. office.
reach late. lost time. shower(remember?)
boss will yell. or pig?
colleagues smirk. leeches?parasites?
maintain composure.just...ignore.
occupy cubicle.
occupy volume. occupy space.
i am matter.that doesn't matter.
computer screen. locked gaze.
suffocate.inside.
must.unlock.mind.
lunch break. office gossips/politics. ass kissing.
can't avoid.
i am a parasite. inseparable part of the body(read system).
computer screen. locked gaze.
following thought train...*HEEYYY** (OH! this part is interesting!!)
NOT computer screen.locked gaze. on her ass,on her obvious cleavage.
SKIP.
hide wedding ring.
rush to the rest room.
STOP. (fore)PLAY
fuck the bitch. unprotected.
undress each other. ride on the animalistic instinct. lust.
another chemical reaction in brain. another electrical impulse.
next few minutes of moans. muffled voices and hushed movements.
ride the bitch hard. or may be try too hard.
reach peak. muscle spasm. lie still. gasp. into each others mouth.
fake love for an hour or so...
just another electrical impulse. just another chemical reaction in brain.just another orgasm.
I, am a slave to my body's needs.
i, a collection of carbon compounds.
i, a clean conscience.a loyal husband. lust ridden.
computer screen. locked gaze. mundane...
SKIP. FAST FORWARD.
Walk.
red light. stop.
walk.
turn right. walk straight. turn left.
look straight. cross the road.
reach home. *daaaaaddyy* *HHHeeeyy kiddo**
chat. exchange glances with wife.*disgust*
her out of shape, out dated body.
not quite what was seen some 10 years ago.
STOP. FAST FORWARD.
night time. bed.
wife. me.
me. wife.
me,inside wife.
engage in the regular night time chore.
exchange bodily fluids. through genitals. actually, not only through genitals.
unprotected act. because i own her.
here,i am the MAN. in the bedroom.
exchange fake gratitude. fake *i love(see- sarcastic) you*
cuddle.
me. wife.
wife asleep.
me awake.
slowly reach for the drawer.
draw pills. careful! DO NOT TEMPT!! DO NOT OD!!
lay still. wait for sleep.
think.(check)(rarely done)
my miserable life.
my miserable wife.
my miserable child.
my miserable mind.
sleeeeeeeep....sleeeeeeeeeeppp
Zzz...
STOP.
FAST FORWARD.
dream.
nightmare.
dream.
REM SLEEP..
SYSTEM REBOOT.
ENGAGING LOOP.
wake up. put on glasses. look around.
touch neck. feel anything?
good. made it again safely. alive and well.
.........................
...........................
FAST FORWARD.
wake up. put on glasses. look around.
touch neck. feel anything?
good. made it again safely. alive and well.
.........................
...........................
lay still. wait for sleep.
STOP.
FAST FORWARD.
dream.
nightmare.
dream.
REM SLEEP..
SYSTEM REBOOT.
ENGAGING LOOP.
MALFUNCTION.
WARNING!
MALFUNCTION!
CRITICAL ERROR!
SYSTEM SHUT DOWN.
3
2
1
STOP.
TAPE COMPLETE.
this tape doesn't have a rewind function i suppose...