Be that Man!

By Kalamwali in Reviews » Movie Reviews
Updated 10:50 IST Jul 06, 2016

So this afternoon, I watched the most coveted movie of 2014, "Mary Kom". Needless to say, an array of emotions ran through me in those two hours and even after that. A Biopic, that too of a sportsperson who has surfaced from that part of the country which most people in our country don't even know exists, is heart wrenching to watch.

If I treat it like a movie, yes there is entertainment and drama plus the songs and a brilliant background score. If I treat it like someone's real life, there is so much to learn. So much to be inspired by, take back, ponder upon and apply in life. Yes Mary Kom as a woman should be worshipped in our country, given the way she fulfilled her dream in spite of all the gender biasness, family pressure, hierarchy and ego issues of all those who didn't matter to the sport and motherhood. She defeated all that came in her way with immense bravery. And this will touch any woman's heart who watches the movie. As at some point all of us have in some way let something or someone derail us (in a big or a small way) in our own journey.

But that's not what touched me the most. What or rather who stole my heart was K Onler Kom. The man in Mary Kom's life, her true life partner. The man who in his interview said (not in the movie but the real K Onler Kom) that he married her only so that he "could look after her" and never failed there. The man who promised her that he would never separate her from the boxing ring, and graciously stuck to his promise. The man who impregnated his wife, not to make her a mother but to equally share parenthood. The man who truly respects his wife, her dream and her passion. The man without whom, Mary Kom would have been a champion but couldn't have continued to be one.

That doesn't mean I want to complain about the men around us or in any way indicate that they don't respect their partners. Its just that we are so used to seeing a man progress firmly towards fulfilling his dreams and achieving his goals, where his lady silently supports him that this relationship or marriage between the 5 time world champion and her Football Coach husband redefines the word "love". Its certainly not easy to be the man behind a successful woman. And even if there is a man behind a successful woman, his ego at some point wants to overtake hers just to make him "the man" of the house.

At the risk of sounding sexist, the woman, if successful, is always expected to remain 'supported' by the man, and if not, the 'support' to the man. And there isn't anything wrong in it, as we have grown up that way but then its almost surreal to see this kind of a relationship and makes us wonder about many things. As a mother to a girl child, I would pray that she finds a partner who encourages her to follow her heart. But I wonder how I would think if I was a mother to a male child. Maybe I would want my son to be the commanding one. And would conveniently label him as "hen pecked" if he wasn't. But this thought is sickening. Why should a man always be 'The Man'? Why cant we teach our sons, brothers, friends to be equals and let them know that its okay, if they have to take a backseat in a relationship to make it succeed? Its just a thought. If the country wants more Mary Kom's, the country must produce more K Onler Kom's too. To all the men out there, don't just be 'a man', be 'that man'.

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