Parity means Equality. Equality, however is such a heavy word. It has an agitated connotation to it. Which is why I call this piece Parity. It’s just a better word. Slightly posher, so that I can take away the pre-conceived notion of equality that suggests we protest on the road for being denied something.
Equality, most often, brings with it a prefix, which is usually the word ‘gender’. So much is written about gender equality, or the absence of it. Even more is written about gender inequality. In education, opportunities, freedom, safety, professional preferences etc. The woman is somehow always the victim, the weaker one. The one that needs to fight and protest.
As species hailing from Venus, we, women are developing some peculiar traits. Of feeling victimized, agitated, feeling the need to fight, rebel, report and protest. And not always justifiable. We tend to get carried away with the idea of how it should be and force ourselves to fight for how it must be. This could be a good reason for deepening of our belief in gender inequality.
For all those women reading this piece, please cross your heart and think. When was the last time you faced a severe case of gender parity? The only instance I can think of is, as a teenager my deadline to be home was 7.30 pm and my brother didn’t really have one. But how severe is that really? My brother on the other hand, had to take responsibility of drop/pick ups and running required errands post evening!
Education, opportunities and freedom, should be dismissed in today’s time and age. We women have the power to know what we want and to get it using the strength we have. Women also have selective weakness which we portray as per our convenience. Men, however, are always expected to be strong and sorted. That’s a hint of inequality, right there.
Where safety is concerned, all women know where to hit a man that’ll hurt him the most. Let’s just use that knowledge when the time calls for it. Equality is, being able to hurt the man who hurt you and not protesting against the many men who didn’t hurt you.
Between a husband and wife. Let’s think of all the times we feel we are victims. We demonize the idea of our responsibilities, housework, motherhood, changing homes, surnames, just about everything. Like we are giving up ourselves to be married. But come to think of it, were it as bad, would everyone continue to do it? It would have extinct as a concept just like the tail growing from the tailbone.
We are very vocal about how the man of the house should share the responsibilities with the woman of the house. How he should contribute to the upbringing of the child, learn to cook, clean and do it without being nagged for it. But do we, on the other hand share his responsibilities? Does he ever expect you to pay bills, take him out, plan exotic vacations and pay for them, help with his work, presentations, deadlines? Does he write about how unfair it is? For equality demands both sides to be heard.
Why should a man always pay? If the fight is about parity and equal opportunities, take half the opportunities to relieve him. Responsibilities become a burden if not enjoyed or shared in a fair manner.
Of all the stages of men and women, being lovers is the most challenging one in today’s time and age. Vanity and social media have taken the pressure of being in an ideal relationship to another level of impossible. Being a lad in a relationship with a gal is more stressful than being a man with a family. The prerequisites for being an ideal boyfriend are unreal. Not only must the poor guy be rich, but also the kind who would look good in person and in pictures. Our generation was lucky that way to fall in love with stupid things of stupid people as we were quite stupid ourselves.
Dear young women, who talk of ideal everything, stand up for it. Be with a man who respects you for understanding and following equality. Men do like ‘woman on top’ sometimes and it’s only fair to give it to them in the real sense.
Equality can never be achieved by women raising an objection for not having their own identity. It can be achieved by creating an identity for ourselves. And in the end, strength or power is not in standing up and screaming for rights. Strength and power is about simply standing up and exercising those rights. Let's be able, capable and dependable. Let's have a voice and not just make noise. Let parity be for us for vanity is!
-Kalamwali